Just because you watch Jersey Shore or—worse—were a member of the David Hasselhoff International Fan Club doesn't mean you really know what it's like to be a lifeguard. To find out, we went to the source: a veteran whistle-blower at a New Jersey beach. Enjoy your swimming!
The money is terrible
Lifeguard season is about four months long, from mid-May to September. First-year guards make about $10 an hour—not much—and we pay a lot of money to live in a house down on the shore. But it's the summertime—you gotta enjoy it.
We work harder than most people think
I've done more than 60 rescues now, in six years. Sometimes, a group of 30 or more people will all get swept out by a riptide at once. I can bring in five people at a time if I have a buoy, and two people if I don't. And I can get 10 to 15 guards to come help me within a minute or two. I've only lost two people, and they were swimming after hours. It was the worst riptide I'd ever seen. Awful.
Hot or not? We talk about everybody on the beach
Of course we talk about everybody on the beach—any flaw in any person. We buy our own walkie-talkie radios and communicate that way, about hot girls and everyone else who's not so hot. We always get these big, old French-Canadian guys who wear tiny thongs. It's a long day sitting in the chair. You have to entertain yourself.
We party hard
We lifeguards have this motto: ATF, or Alive 'Til Five. It's our goal for the night. We get off of work at 5:30 p.m. Then we usually drink at the house before heading to the bars at 1 a.m. After they close, we go home around 3:30 a.m. and drink a few cases of beer until 5 a.m. I'm an old man of 24 now, so I usually fall asleep by 3 a.m.-and I always get heckled for it.
Some lifeguards sleep on the job
I party, but I'm a total worrywart, and I take my job seriously; no matter how hard I go out the night before, I'm always at work when our day officially starts, at 9:30 a.m. I never fall asleep on the job, especially with all the caffeine and tobacco in my system. But I know guys who will sleep for five hours straight up in the chair. They have their tricks. Some will roll a towel up, wrap it around their neck, and then tuck the ends between their legs to keep themselves from falling out of the chair. Others will wear a big sweatshirt and then hide an apple or orange under their chin, so it looks like they're looking straight ahead at the water.
Posts
